Last year my son ran away from me! And it brought back flashbacks of when he would elope a few years back. (Elopement is when a person leaves an area without permission or notification which usually leads to placing that individual in a potentially dangerous situation ) I got so scared having my youngest son with me and seeing my older son run away from me! As I grabbed and pulled my younger son and began to run; I kid you not,I didn’t even run for one minute when I couldn’t even catch my breath. I stopped and starting running again, tears running down my face, but I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t leave my younger son and my son with autism seemed farther and farther away… 3 blocks and it felt like I had ran miles and miles. Luckily my son with autism fell and scraped himself and I mean luckily not because he hurt himself ( bc that it self was its own meltdown) but because he stopped. As I reached him all I kept thinking was why ?? I couldn’t keep up! I thought about every horrible scenario that could of happened. But the reality was, it was my fault I couldn’t keep up.I wasn’t healthy.I was overweight😐. I couldn’t run 3 blocks for my son. I was so depressed for a month I couldn’t grasped the thought that at 30 something I couldn’t keep up with my son! So I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and fix it! What was done was done and I couldn’t change it. What I could do is prevent the fact that he even got the chance to run 3 blocks from ever happening again. So on November 29, I woke up, slapped myself and said to my self “I will be healthy for my kids, I will be able to run 3 blocks and not need to catch my breath” . That’s when I changed for autism, because autism is not going to defeat me. What autism will do, is make me better for my son. So today on the day that I have officially lost 50 pounds I say “take that autism” ” I’m able to run 3 blocks and more!!! so bring it because I’m healthier and getting better for my boys. Im not were I should be but I know I will get there. Getting better and working on me one day at a time. So I will continue to be a warrior not only for my boys but for myself.
October 24, 2014